Snow Days

Rebel Cat

Vader:  Princess Leia has smuggled a cat aboard this Star Destroyer. 
I DESPISE cats!  They shed all over and cause all sorts of trouble with my asthma.
Also they like to number 2 in my boots for some reason.  I want that cat vaporized on sight!

Vader:  There it is!  Disintegrate it!

Vader:  sniff...My elite soldiers cannot even shoot a cat.  Why is this happening to me?  Achoo!

The Darth Car

 Storm Trooper:  Holy cow this thing runs on fossil fuels!  This must cost hundreds of thousands of credits just for title, insurance, fuel and maintenance! 

Darth Vader:  Fool!  Of course it is expensive, it is a status symbol.  I expect you to service this vehicle and keep it sparkling like the day it was manufactured.  If I find so much as a dent, a simple scratch, I shall sever your head from your torso.  

Storm Trooper:  But why would you even want a, uh, er...this?

Darth Vader:  Think of it like this...as the Sith Lord Vader I rule the galaxy, 

but as the owner of a 1970 Dodge Challenger, I simply RULE!

An Important Mission

Lord Vader:  Storm Trooper.  I have an important mission for you.

Storm Trooper:  Yes, my liege!  Your will is my command.

Lord Vader:  The toilet on this level is backed up again.  Make sure to plunge it good this time.  I command you to mop up afterward.  Use the stuff that smells like pine trees. 

Storm Trooper:  ~sigh~  Yes, my Dark Master.  It shall be as you decree, your Excellency.

Called the Five-Oh tonight...

I was hoping it wouldn't come to this.  Leia has been gone for over 24 hours, and she's turned her cell phone off.  Called in the Five-Oh, actually the 501st, and a local trooper stopped by to file a report.  He tried to be reassuring, telling me about how this sort of thing happens all the time.  She is probably out having the time of her life and here I am worried sick.  The problem with children is they just don't care about anyone but themselves.  I know I haven't been the greatest father but I'm trying my best.  Not like I had a father figure growing up, unless you count that sleemo Watto.  *sigh*  Filed a report for R2 while I was at it.  I hate waiting.  This sucks.