Forcebook updates

A dark lord has to keep up to date information readily available to him at all times.  That's why I use forcebook.com.  It's really easy!  You just pretend to be someones friend and then they will basically reveal all the embarrassing and tragic events they have experienced that day.  For example:

Here is a picture of Boba hiring a WOOKIEE to fix his SUV.  How embarrassing!  Let it be known that I hired someone to put sugar in his gas tank.  But wait there's more!

Looks like troop morale is down on Endor.  Time to show the "When Ewoks Attack" training film again.  We'll have a barbeque to improve morale, maybe ribs and ice cream.  That should do the trick.

Forcebook also helps me out any fool stupid enough to disrespect me on a public forum.  I'll end this blog with a fan art someone made of me.  Because I'm freaking AWESOME!

Rest in peace, Frank Frazetta.   Feb. 9th, 1928-May 10th, 2010

Your art lives on through your many fans who miss you very much.

Natural Born Sith

Using Anger to tap into dark side powers is what helped make me what I am today.  My new apprentice may someday exceed even My potential....arise Darth Big Red.

A New Foe!

Deep in the outer rim I have discovered a planet populated with equine force users.  They pose a great threat the Imperial Party, because their television show ( a pansy bit of fluff intended for little GIRLS) is cutting into my demographic,18-45 year old MALES!  W.T.F.?  Lord Vader cannot afford to lose his merchandising profits to little magical ponies!  The Poni force users are surprisingly powerful, as I have learned for myself.

I have decided to withdraw my forces from the planet Equestria and study these Poni warriors.  Already a small faction have allied with the Jedi under the leadership of Obi-Wan Broni.  I must find their weakness and deviate them to the Dark Side.  Until then I will suffer no Poni or Broni left alive.  Either they will willingly spend their credits on official STAR WARS licensed merchandise or they will suffer beneath my tyranny. My universe doesn't have room for sissy boys. 

Imperial Chocolate Chip Cookie Recipe

Everyone wants to know my recipe for chocolate chip cookies.  I'm posting it here so you can all stop asking me. 

2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. salt
3/4 cup granulated sugar
3/4 cup packed brown sugar
1 tsp. vanilla extract
2 large eggs
2 cups ( 12 oz. ) Chocolate Chips
1 cup (2 sticks) Imperial Margarine

You may not use any other brand margarine or ....gasp....wheez....choke....real butter.  This is the secret ingredient that makes rebels turn dark side and keeps them addicted...er...motivated...yeah, that's it....to do a hard days work for next to nothing.  Only IMPERIAL MARGARINE is acceptable.  I command it.  And don't even get me started on this stuff...

Eat this and you're as good as dead.  Oh yeah.  The recipe.  You take all the ingredients and beat them into submission.  Then cast them into the flames of a oven preheated to 375 degrees for 7 to 8 minutes.  Your yummy Dark Side cookies will corrupt your soul and leave you an empty vessel to do my bidding. 

Okay have a great weekend every one!