Unexpected Ally

Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan arrives on the Ice Planet, Hoth, by hitching a ride with Gold Leader 5 in his rebel starcraft Y-wing fighter. 

Leia:  Thanks for letting me download all those bootlegs to my iphone off your droid.  Take care lil guy! 

Leia:  And thanks again for the ride!  I love all the modifications to your Y-wing.

 

Waiting for Leia is a hulking mecha monstrosity...

Leia confidently approaches and hails the sentient machine.  "Long live  King Grimlock!  Recognize your friend and ally Leia Organa.  I come in peace to discuss matters of discord."

"Me Grimlock pleased to meet you Leia once again.  How can me Grimlock help you his friend?"

"I was on my way to a party and now my Dad and all his creepy friends are out hunting for me.  I need a place to lay low for awhile.  He's really ticked off!"  "Me Grimlock have just the place in mind for you Princess."

News from the Battle Front

This is a hacked transmission from Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan.  The Mandalorians are taking up offensive positions in various free zones within Separatist space. 

The Galactic Empire will strip you of all the freedoms you take for granted if you go passively. 
Oh and I just got the cutest little Ewok today!  I got him from Pet Depot.  Don't go there BTW
the whole place is filled with scabies. 

Anyways here he is building a sand castle in the litter box!  Isn't he adorable?  I LUV my lil Snookie Wookems!  Oh and Vader?  You will never be my father.  Never.  Bail Prestor Organa raised me from a baby to respect all life and live peacefully.  The Separatist rebellion is necessary to overthrow a corrupt political regime.  I would rather die than live under your heel.  

Snow Days

Saw this infomercial today...

Lord Vader is always looking for superior products to keep the Death Star tidy.  If you've ever remodeled your kitchen, imagine what kind of mess we have on our hands here.  Might have to give this product a try. 

Lord Vader LOVES Twilight!  If a hot chick like Bella can accept that Edward is a blood-sucking leach and still love him there is still hope for me.  I've been so lonely without my Panda Bear Padme.

Oh btw, If anyone knows this girl please have her friend me on forcebook.com.  Papa likes. 

New Recruits

Sometimes funny things happen to new recruits. 

Joe and Ben here are about to find out why the Empire pays

double wages to work the deforestation detail on Endor.

Imperial Chocolate Chip Cookie Recipe

Everyone wants to know my recipe for chocolate chip cookies.  I'm posting it here so you can all stop asking me. 

2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. salt
3/4 cup granulated sugar
3/4 cup packed brown sugar
1 tsp. vanilla extract
2 large eggs
2 cups ( 12 oz. ) Chocolate Chips
1 cup (2 sticks) Imperial Margarine

You may not use any other brand margarine or ....gasp....wheez....choke....real butter.  This is the secret ingredient that makes rebels turn dark side and keeps them addicted...er...motivated...yeah, that's it....to do a hard days work for next to nothing.  Only IMPERIAL MARGARINE is acceptable.  I command it.  And don't even get me started on this stuff...

Eat this and you're as good as dead.  Oh yeah.  The recipe.  You take all the ingredients and beat them into submission.  Then cast them into the flames of a oven preheated to 375 degrees for 7 to 8 minutes.  Your yummy Dark Side cookies will corrupt your soul and leave you an empty vessel to do my bidding. 

Okay have a great weekend every one!

Career Fair

The Galactic Empire hosted a career fair at Centares Community College this evening.  We had some lively conversation about Criminal Justice, EMT training, and the future of the galaxy.  There really is a diverse amount of career opportunities for young cadets in the Imperial Forces.  Yes, we need soldiers, but that is just the core fundamentals of a much more elaborate chain of command.  We need munition experts, pilots, chefs, artisans, craftsmen, architects, scientists, musicians (yes, musicians, okay?), doctors, lawyers, mechanics, engineers, and so on for infinity, it seems.  In fact I think I might just take over the community college.  That seems the easiest way to assimilate them all.  Anyways, we had a great booth, here's a photo I took with my camera phone.  It also functions as a light saber.  Cheers.