Well, I found out what happened to my droid. To make a long story short, I've recently found out that I'm a father. I wish I would have known sooner. I've missed so many years. Her name is Leia. She is already a teenager and it's like we come from completely different worlds. Well technically we do, but I digress. I'm sure she was adorable as a child but now it's all about the hair and makeup and clothes. She already has her mind made up about the world. She's interested in boys too, and she's got this terrible rebellious streak. I think she gets it from her mother.
So anyways I had her over to the Death Star, kind of a take your daughter to work day sort of thing. The whole time she acted like I was kidnapping her or something, yelling at me about how evil I was, and how it was wrong to discipline unruly planets by blowing them up. Then I found out she "lost" my R2 unit! She says to me "So what's the big deal, it's just a droid." Just a droid. Like a 1970 Dodge Challenger is "just" a car. Kids these days. I had no choice but to put her in time out with the interrogation droid.
Now she's run off with her boyfriend in his piece of junk starship. I just don't get it. Here I am, in charge of maintaining order in a full-fledged galactic empire and I can't even keep an unruly teenage girl in check. I need a ice mocha bad.